Good day, blog readers. I write today to relay some news.
That is to say, I have been working hard on a piece about the inquisitive one.
Yes, I’ve been snooping about the inquisitive one’s house, endeavoring to learn just what the i.o. has been up to. I’ve been communicating with multiple sources. (While I can’t give away the identities of these sources, I will note that many of them are insects and others with neither email accounts nor phone numbers, which presents unique challenges for me as a reporter, hence the delay in the release of the forthcoming scoop.) Yes, I’ve been writing the story with care. And double-checking all the facts.
Needless to say, getting this i.o. reportage right is crucial to the integrity of the journalistic profession, not to mention the abrogation of the travesty of fake news, which has come upon us, almost—but not quite!—unawares. Each fact must be double-checked, nay, triple-checked in many instances, before I will consent to releasing the story to the public.
I know, it has been many weeks since I was last able to report upon the goings-on of the inquisitive one. Many of you must be desperate for an update on the i.o.’s health and well-being. Rereading my prior stories may help assuage your thirst a bit longer, though I’m afraid that is all I can offer at this time. For you readers (and for anyone in possession of a memory that may need refreshing), here are two links:
- The Inquisitive One Knows It’s Time—in which the inquisitive one purchases a giant urn, among other exciting events
- The Inquisitive One Wakes Up!—in which the inquisitive one is accosted by the worm living in the bellybutton, among other amazing events
It is an indubitable honor to serve the public in this manner. I consider this reportage on the inquisitive one fully as important as the reportage on the White House—which truth I believe no one can reasonably dispute.
Thank you for your patience in this important matter.