I recently met a guy who disclosed to me that his personal motto is “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Despite this expression having been popular for a number of years—it’s all over the Internet—I did not remember hearing it before. But I instantly took to it. What lovely imagery. And what lovely meaning: so metaphorical, yet so obvious.
At least I thought its meaning was obvious. To confirm my suspicions, I consulted the good old Web.
Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys Meaning
Confirmed. The meaning of “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is this: One is not responsible for someone else’s sticky situation. The expression does not mean that one is callus or immoral. It means that one has boundaries, boundaries that may well be healthy.
In fact, this Psychology Today article notes that setting “Not my circus, not my monkeys” boundaries can help if you are prone to depression.
(Though saying “Not my circus, not my monkeys” to someone who is embroiled in a sticky situation can come off as flip, and is not advisable unless that person is pretty much guaranteed to love you anyway because you are, say, their teenage kid.)
Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys Origin
I was wrong about something though. I had assumed that the saying “Not my circus, not my monkeys” was from a movie or TV show. (Most sayings that I’m not familiar with turn out to be from such media, since my nose is usually stuck in printed word media, as opposed to motion picture media.)
Au contraire. This is a Polish expression, Nie mรณj cyrk, nie moje maลpy, which translates literally to “Not my circus, not my monkey.”
In the original Polish, there is one lone mischievous monkey, instead of a plural number of monkeys. Otherwise, the Polish saying has the same words and meaning as the English adaptation.
NOTE ADDED APRIL 8, 2021: A Polish speaker left a comment (see below) saying that the Polish expression is plural, after all. I stand corrected. (Thank you for telling me about this, Marta!) If you speak Polish, it would be wonderful if you would add a comment below, and share whether you have heard this expression used in Polish and whether it is used in the same way as it is in English. I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on this! ๐
Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys as a Personal Motto
I circled back (around the three rings?) to the fellow with the personal motto. I told him about my forays into the depths of the Internet and asked where he first heard the expression.
That was when I learned that he did not know the origin of the saying, and I explained it to him (thus narrowly avoiding a womansplaining situation . . .).
He told me he heard the expression while working at a job in which he interacted with people in the military. He said it’s a commonly used saying in military circles. (Rings?)
Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys as an Election Elixir
I’m sitting here on Tuesday (that’s yesterday to you) wondering what’s going to go down in the next 24 hours. Civil unrest? Rioting? Guns? Rapid-fire lawyering? Surely hanging chads are a thing of the past, but maybe not?
In times of uncertainty, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” seems like the wisest possible motto. This year has been so relentlessly uncertain that I have to admire the fellow for adopting a motto so perfectly suited to modern times.
Today, Tuesday, I am thinking, Okay, I voted. I did my part. I can do no more. When I had an unfilled-out ballot in hand, sure—that was my circus. Those were my monkeys. But now that my ballot has been submitted and counted, it’s no longer my circus. The monkeys are playing out there, but their antics are not my responsibility. So the wisest course is to calmly go about my day. It’s a beautiful day. I should endeavor to live it beautifully.
***********************
Now it’s Wednesday morning (that’s today to you), and I am closely monitoring the news. This is my country. I love my country. I care deeply about the outcome of this election. But I’m not a candidate. I don’t work for a candidate. I’m not a journalist covering this election. I’m not a person tasked with tabulating votes. I’m just a blogger with a mild head injury and a love of cute monkeys and colorful turns of phrase.
I will continue to follow the news. I will take action, if there is a prudent action to be taken. But there is not any prudent action that I can take right now.
This election is not my circus, not my monkeys.
My Circus, My Monkeys
Folks, this blog post has been barrels of fun!
But surely we’re all hungry for breakfast, after that long night.
(Bananas?)
Well said, Liza. “Not my circus” allowed me to go to sleep last night at my usual time, recognizing that those involved in counting would do their jobs without my constant refreshing of websites. (I don’t have TV.) As today wears on, I’ll keep an eye on the monkeys, but the job of counting is still not mine. The job, circus, and monkey that IS mine is to be ready to lift my voice and participate as needed in fighting for the counting of votes to continue until every legitimate vote is counted, and to protect and defend the systems of democracy from there on out as best I can. Digging out my ringmaster hat as we speak.
LOL, keep that ringmaster hat handy….
Hi Liza, I too have never heard that phrase until now, but I think it will become something I use! My favorite phrase when I was in the corporate world was, “This is a goat rodeo with too many clowns.” That helped me step away from things too!
Wow, that’s another colorful phrase! I have not heard that one before, either!
“In the original Polish, there is one lone mischievous monkey, instead of a plural number of monkeys.”
This is not right – “moje maลpy” is a plural, only one monkey would be “moja maลpa”. So the English translation is accurate ๐
Oh wow, thank you so much for explaining this, Marta! I apologize for the error, and I have added a note to the blog post with this information. Thanks, again! ๐
Hi Liza,
I was born in Poland, however, I was raised somewhere else and my parents never used this expression. I stumbled upon the English version of the saying only recently and was surprised it was said to originate in Polish. I googled it, searching for the original words, and found your blog post ๐
So thank you for the explanation and sorry that I can’t add anything about its usage in Polish :-/
No worries. Thanks for the information!
Thatโs the actually the most common expression Iโm hearing in Serbia. โ Nije Moj cirkus i nisu moji majmuniโ. Especially in Vojvodina district.
They think itโs their expression they even have stories with they great grandparents saying this and passing to the next generations..
That’s interesting! Thanks for sharing ๐
I was born and raised in Poland, although I spent number of years abroad. Iโve never heard it my childhood or adolescence, or maybe I didnโt pay enough attention to it back then. To me it appeared out of the blue and suddenly it was all around me, becoming very popular, especially among the millennials. You may even find its entry in the Polish language dictionary, which means itโs now an established expression. In Polish it means: itโs none of my business; donโt drag me into your drama; not my mess to clean up; leave me out if it.
Digging into its origin Iโve found out that it might have been first used back in the nineties, referring to the government of the first Polish female prime minister. If thatโs the case, then it was definitely used in a political sense, maybe even a little bit offensive or at least ironical. But sometimes the language of politics may influence the language of the masses. Didnโt โnormalcyโ come into existence during a presidential campaign of 1920?
Speaking of politics, Iโve also come across โMy circus, not my monkeys,โ which apparently was used quite recently in a comment to some then-current political situation. Here, the country you live in is your โcircus,โ but you donโt identify with the โmonkeysโ making the mess, as you didnโt vote for them.
The linguists say there is also the opposite expression, with the opposite meaning: โMy circus, my monkeys.โ Truth be told, I havenโt heard that one at all, however I can imagine it exists. The Poles could be very creative when it comes to using their mother tongue. BTW, in Polish itโs not a mother tongue, itโs a โfather tongue.โ ๐
Thank you for all of this insight! Very interesting!
I am also Polish and never heard it before. I think this is something very young people say.
Oh interesting!
Iโm polish and never heard this saying. My Australian friend said it to me once! Iโll have so ask my parents!
That’s funny!
I’m Polish and I’ve been familiar with the phrase for years. I first got it from a book by Polish author Joanna Chmielewska. She had a way with words and she used it well in her very funny crime stories. There is another phrase with a similar meaning I got from her – “not my grandma’s freckles” – it’s arguably less catchy than the circus one, although I’m quite fond of it.
That’s interesting!!
I use this phrase sometimes in Polish. Once at work I used it to comment on some decision from management. Not our circus, not our monkeys. And one older co worker responded “but (yet) our caravan (wagon)”. I’m not sure, if that’s original for the phrase, but in my headcannon it is. It might not be your circus, it might not be your monkeys, but sometimes, sometimes it is your wagon.
Oh, I love this so much. Thanks for sharing. That is so true – sometimes it is your wagon.
It’s not very common. I usually used/heard it being used by an advisor when someone was doing something very stupid and didn’t listen to the advice given to them. Basically in the “Whatever, it’s your life, I’m not getting involved anymore” way.
Either straight to that person, or in a conversation about it with someone else.
Well said. ๐
Hi Liza,
I have heard that saying here in North Carolina alot. I do not use it, because here people use it as a meaning of Not their child, responsibility, property, or problem. So, therefore they should not have to get involved. I am going to college to be an Addiction and Crisis Counselor. I have seen to many children go through situation most adults cannot handle themselves. So, when I hear this quote it reminds me of how one person choose to get involved in a child’s life or reports a crime, they could actually prevent long-term psychological damage or death.
Tara – WOW. I had no idea people were using it in that way. So sad. Thank you for sharing. I am so glad you are going into a helping field. That is admirable and badly needed in this world. Good luck and best wishes.
I was born and raised in Poland and I heard it and used it frequently.
I never used it or heard it in English, however, so I’m surprised and happy to see that it’s becoming known in English-speaking world which will allow me to use it without explaining its meaning and origins every time!
Michal, that’s so interesting! Yes, it seems that the expression is becoming more popular in English! Thanks for sharing ๐