the inquisitive one


WASHINGTON—The inquisitive one, who stormed the U.S. Capitol in early January, has escaped from prison. Prison authorities say this occurred late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. A guard found the inquisitive one’s cell empty at 5am Sunday morning. A hole was discovered in the corner of the cell, hidden underneath a blanket that had been given to the inquisitive one by a friend. The hole led to a tunnel, which led to an underground tunnel, which led underneath the prison fence and emerged into a nearby stand of trees. Near the emergence of the tunnel, police found evidence: including footprints of shoes and also, oddly, of chickens. About three weeks prior to the escape, the inquisitive one had declined legal services from a court-appointed attorney. If you have information about the escape of this dangerous criminal or the whereabouts of the inquisitive one, please contact our tip line.

Good Morning: To You, From Liza

Happy Monday morning, friends! And so you see, such news is what we awaken to sometimes. You may have seen the above article, or similar stories, already in the morning news. I thought I would reprint this article here for you, in case you happened to miss it. (Though if you missed it, truly, you must be living in an underground tunnel or something.) But I would also like to reassure you of something. I have it from a very close and reliable source that the inquisitive one is alive and well, and hidden in a very safe place, which authorities will definitely never be able to sniff out. Due to reasons of confidentiality, I cannot reveal the nature of this source. And as you know, the press must remain independent of the state. This is vital to the good performance of democracy. I shall not be calling the tip line. As a serious journalist, I must abide by the ethics of my profession and remain neutral, unbiased, and independent. My source has merely authorized me to reveal the ****BREAKING NEWS**** that the inquisitive one is A-OK.

Ahhh! Now that that business is over with, we can get on with our day. I hope that yours is as pleasant as it is informative. Mine includes a Zoom meeting or two; does yours? Aren’t we all consumed by Zoom. Ha! Consumed by Zoom; isn’t that a lovely turn of phrase? And isn’t it funny how sometimes people’s pets or children make cameos in Zoom meetings? I used to delight in it, when it happened to others. But suddenly, unintended cameos have begun to happen to me! Yes, strangely, just in the last day or so, I have begun to have this problem! And the odd thing is, I don’t have any pets or children. Unless you count the chickens in the backyard. But they don’t like to accompany me on indoor escapades, only outdoor ones. Anyway, ha! Just random thoughts for the day. Have a good one, my dears!

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