Last year, I was swiping through a dating site, when I came upon a shocking image. No, it wasn’t an image of that. Dating sites don’t allow such things, silly! It was something equally offensive, though—but for some reason perfectly allowable. Tucked amidst a nice-looking man’s selfies and stats was a cream-hued image with a faux-fancy border around the following...
Doubt and cynicism are very, very popular. Doubt and cynicism are very, very cool. Who’s cooler than the rebel without a cause? Who’s cooler than the person who believes in absolutely nothing—not religion, not family, not school, not government, not occupation, not friendship, not art, not hope, not love? Who sits in the corner with some sort of mood-enhancing drink...
Jay Michaelson is surely a contender for the most interesting and accomplished person alive. His areas of expertise are so wide-ranging that one wonders how they can occur in a single human being. He is an attorney who also has a PhD in religion. His areas of expertise include Judaism, Buddhism, law, politics, meditation, and mysticism. He has been a...
The other day, I attended a Meetup group on Zoom. It was one of those groups that has a policy of respecting the anonymity of all who participate. We were told that what was said in the Zoom group should stay in the Zoom group. Fine. I won’t share with you exactly what happened. (So painful as a blogger! lol)...
There are two opposing ways to live. One: logic, rationality, practicality, groundedness Two: imaginativeness, emotionality, creativity, inquiry Would you place yourself in camp one or two? Are there people in your life who clearly belong to one camp and not the other? Is one camp better than the other, in terms of living the good life, whatever that means to...
When I was halfway through writing my last blog post, I took a break from the computer. I went for a run. Thoughts on the novel Death in Her Hands, by Ottessa Moshfegh, were flowing through my mind. Revelation As I was running, it came to me. The loose pieces of the novel came together. It made sense. Finally! This...
I debated for days about whether to feature this novel on the blog. Usually, by the time I’m a quarter of the way through a book, I know whether I’m going to feature it or not. My requirements are (1) it must impart wisdom of some sort, and (2) I must deem it worthy of my enthusiastic recommendation to others....
I am digging in and hunkering down. Armed with a new lease on life, as they say, I’m pulling my blanket over my head and staying inside its delicate warmth. Yes, I am able to drive again. One year and two months after the incident, I can get around the local terrain fairly well on four wheels. And I’m not...
Last week, I went outside to pull weeds. My intention was to spend 10 minutes clearing out a space in the bed to plant garlic. Ten minutes, I knew, was approximately the amount of time that my injured brain and arms could handle, after a long day of doing other things. Ten minutes, I figured, was enough time to clear...
Turn on the Food Network, or browse the cooking section of a bookstore, and you’ll find a satisfying glut of famous chefs who pride themselves on specializing in the food of their heritage. Are you interested in the traditional cooking of Italy, Japan, or Lebanon? You can find personalities and recipes to satisfy your interest in the commixture of food...
Life feels incredibly hard. You have unexplained physical symptoms. You feel bad much of the time: fearful, ashamed, resigned, exhausted. Your unexplained physical symptoms are often debilitating, causing you to miss work and social events. You try to think positively, but your physical symptoms subtly and irrepressibly worsen your mood. You frantically try to get yourself back on track. Maybe...
As the United States ponders the two options before it, the two pathways its future might follow— As each of us ponders whether we will remain calm and collected in the face of uncertainty, or collapse into madness, ferocity, and depair— As every waking second we face the decision of whether to check our screens, yet again, for any small...
When the entire world seems horrid, inexplicable, and insane; when winter is descending, as viral counts are ascending; when you’re anxious as can be about what tomorrow might bring—there’s always Miranda July to remind us that everybody and everything is ridiculous, . . . not to mention ridiculously funny. With no ado at all, may I present the first four...
What’s the formula for getting the very best students in the world? Great students are a great thing to have in a democracy, because the democratic process requires an educated populace in order to function well. How can people be expected to research candidates and issues and then make informed decisions, without possessing advanced reading and critical thinking skills? Great...
Jared Diamond’s brilliant book Upheaval was published in May 2019. Remember that as you read this blog post. I would like to share some of Diamond’s conclusions—specifically, some of his conclusions regarding my own country, the United States. However, bear in mind that my sharing them out of the context of the entire book will render them less powerful. It’s...
Masterpieces: Plural Wow, wow, wow. I cannot praise Jared Diamond’s most recent book enough. It is astonishing that, more than two decades after publishing his groundbreaking bestseller Guns, Germs, and Steel, and after publishing numerous other cutting-edge, hard-hitting books, and while in his 80s, he has published yet another masterpiece. I do not use these words lightly. Trust me—I would...
There is a third question in the raging virus debate of 2020: 3. Should each of us have the right to make our own choices during an epidemic, in the name of independence, liberty, and freedom? (See my previous blog post for a discussion of the first two questions.) One Strategy: Target the Sick Let’s start by examining people’s liberty,...
Here in 2020—as you well know—there is a debate about whether or not to wear a mask in public. At the core of this debate is how to answer the following questions: Do we trust what scientists are telling us about the virus? It’s clear that scientists do not know everything about this virus; do they know enough that we...
As a rule, I do not feature books on this blog unless I enthusiastically recommend them. I have read (in their entirety) all the books I feature on this blog, but the opposite is not true; I do not feature on this blog all the books I finish reading. (To learn which books I completed but didn’t feature, and why...
But just as often, I am able to identify primary causes of anxiety that are more substantial. The feeling of pressure is not always caused by a relatively simple matter like trying to decide which mobile phone to get (as I wrote about in the first part of this two-part blog article). After all, my mobile phone dilemma is a...
As a person who suffers from anxiety, I understand the feeling of pressure. It hovers in the background of my days and dreams. Sometimes I’m aware of its presence; often I’m not. Often it’s just this invisible thing propelling me forward, or rather, away from the agony of the pressure, which doesn’t necessarily lead to anyplace that can be called...
Do you live in the general locale where you grew up? Do you live far from your childhood home? Do you find yourself constantly changing residences? Have you traveled the world? Do you prefer to stay home? The novel Creatures, by Crissy Van Meter, is about those who stay and those who leave. It’s about those who love home, despite...
This is a hard one. It’s not a hard book to read; that’s not what I mean. It’s a hard book to write about. As I explained last week, this is a book about whales—but it’s not really about whales. It’s called Creatures, and it’s about creatures that live in the sea—but it’s not really about that, either. It’s about...
WOW, there’s a lot of anger out there. And in here. And everywhere. It’s nearly impossible to go on the Internet, join a Zoom call, or chat with a friend without someone—maybe even you or me!—bursting out in a diatribe of some sort. Yep, we’re all angry, . . . but what is the root cause of this anger? And...
There’s something strange about friendship. I used to think, in the ignorance of youth, that it wasn’t possible to be true friends with someone unless there were common interests and beliefs. I used to think that there could be cooperation between such people, but not true friendship. As a result, I shied away from people a lot . . ....
HAVE YOU NOTICED that a disproportionate number of songs seem to be about singing? And a disproportionate number of paintings seem to be about painting? And a disproportionate number of writings seem to be about writing? It makes sense. Artists make art about what they know, and one of the things they know best is their form of art. This...
Okay, folks, here’s the hard part. You’re in a conversation with someone. You’re talking about something interpersonally difficult. You want the conversation to go well. You’re trying to look at the situation objectively. You’re trying to direct your intention toward genuinely connecting with compassion and the hope of understanding the other person’s views. Those are great starts, . . ....
I was recently listening to a podcast. (I’ve been doing a lot of that in the past few weeks. Listening is something my concussed brain can handle better than most other activities.) The podcast featured an expert in psychology, trauma, and social work. This expert made the point that effective communication skills are not generally taught in schools, but are...
Oren Jay Sofer, an expert in mindful communication, tells the following story in his book Say What You Mean. It’s a true story about a friend of his who displayed mindful perseverance in connecting with a stranger: “One afternoon in Boston, he met an attractive young woman while waiting at a crosswalk. They had a short but warm connection, and...
I didn’t know what today was, either . . . until I was informed, by the fount of wisdom and kindness and all-American charm B.K., that today is the first day of Mental Health Month! According to the nonprofit organization Mental Health America, “1 in 5 people will experience a mental illness during their lifetime.” Moreover, “everyone faces challenges in...
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Books previewed
Girl, Woman, Other Bernardine Evaristo
Enlightenment by Trial and Error Jay Michaelson
Death in Her Hands Ottessa Moshfegh
The Cooking Gene Michael W. Twitty
The First Bad Man Miranda July
Upheaval Jared Diamond
A Journal of the Plague Year Daniel Defoe
Creatures Crissy Van Meter
Indelicacy Amina Cain
Say What You Mean Oren Jay Sofer
Habits of a Happy Brain Loretta Graziano Breuning
Bad Behavior, This Is Pleasure Mary Gaitskill
The Brother Gardeners Andrea Wulf
Severance Ling Ma
How to Be an Antiracist Ibram X. Kendi
The Museum of Modern Love Heather Rose
Why I Write George Orwell
The Woman Destroyed Simone de Beauvoir
Educated Tara Westover
The Gift Hafiz
The Collected Schizophrenias Esmé Weijun Wang
Your Duck Is My Duck Deborah Eisenberg
Sapiens Yuval Noah Harari
Milkman Anna Burns
Under the Banner of Heaven Jon Krakauer
Waiting for Bojangles Olivier Bourdeaut
A Mind Unraveled Kurt Eichenwald
Eugénie Grandet Honoré de Balzac
The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
The Bookshop Penelope Fitzgerald
Digital Minimalism Cal Newport
The Sisters Brothers Patrick deWitt
Dare to Lead Brené Brown
My Year of Rest and Relaxation Ottessa Moshfegh
Almost Everything Anne Lamott
Born to Run Christopher McDougall, Bruce Springsteen
The Ladies’ Paradise Émile Zola
The World Beyond Your Head Matthew B. Crawford
All the Birds, Singing Evie Wyld
Barracoon Zora Neale Hurston
Dandelion Wine Ray Bradbury
JavaScript & jQuery Jon Duckett
Home Fire Kamila Shamsie
The Weather Detective Peter Wohlleben
Play It As It Lays Joan Didion
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson
Convenience Store Woman Sayaka Murata
Perfect Me Heather Widdows
Sorry to Disrupt the Peace Patty Yumi Cottrell
Why Buddhism Is True Robert Wright
What Is Real? Adam Becker
Kudos Rachel Cusk
The Days of Abandonment Elena Ferrante
F*cked Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson
Searching for Stars on an Island in Maine Alan Lightman
Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
A Room of One’s Own Virginia Woolf
Enlightenment by Trial and Error Jay Michaelson
Death in Her Hands Ottessa Moshfegh
The Cooking Gene Michael W. Twitty
The First Bad Man Miranda July
Upheaval Jared Diamond
A Journal of the Plague Year Daniel Defoe
Creatures Crissy Van Meter
Indelicacy Amina Cain
Say What You Mean Oren Jay Sofer
Habits of a Happy Brain Loretta Graziano Breuning
Bad Behavior, This Is Pleasure Mary Gaitskill
The Brother Gardeners Andrea Wulf
Severance Ling Ma
How to Be an Antiracist Ibram X. Kendi
The Museum of Modern Love Heather Rose
Why I Write George Orwell
The Woman Destroyed Simone de Beauvoir
Educated Tara Westover
The Gift Hafiz
The Collected Schizophrenias Esmé Weijun Wang
Your Duck Is My Duck Deborah Eisenberg
Sapiens Yuval Noah Harari
Milkman Anna Burns
Under the Banner of Heaven Jon Krakauer
Waiting for Bojangles Olivier Bourdeaut
A Mind Unraveled Kurt Eichenwald
Eugénie Grandet Honoré de Balzac
The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
The Bookshop Penelope Fitzgerald
Digital Minimalism Cal Newport
The Sisters Brothers Patrick deWitt
Dare to Lead Brené Brown
My Year of Rest and Relaxation Ottessa Moshfegh
Almost Everything Anne Lamott
Born to Run Christopher McDougall, Bruce Springsteen
The Ladies’ Paradise Émile Zola
The World Beyond Your Head Matthew B. Crawford
All the Birds, Singing Evie Wyld
Barracoon Zora Neale Hurston
Dandelion Wine Ray Bradbury
JavaScript & jQuery Jon Duckett
Home Fire Kamila Shamsie
The Weather Detective Peter Wohlleben
Play It As It Lays Joan Didion
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson
Convenience Store Woman Sayaka Murata
Perfect Me Heather Widdows
Sorry to Disrupt the Peace Patty Yumi Cottrell
Why Buddhism Is True Robert Wright
What Is Real? Adam Becker
Kudos Rachel Cusk
The Days of Abandonment Elena Ferrante
F*cked Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson
Searching for Stars on an Island in Maine Alan Lightman
Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
A Room of One’s Own Virginia Woolf
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