****BREAKING NEWS**** WASHINGTON—The inquisitive one, who stormed the U.S. Capitol in early January, has escaped from prison. Prison authorities say this occurred late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. A guard found the inquisitive one’s cell empty at 5am Sunday morning. A hole was discovered in the corner of the cell, hidden underneath a blanket that had been given to...
“Good day,” said the attorney, while entering the small meeting room in the prison. “It’s not!” cried the inquisitive one, who was chained to the table. “Surely your mother did not name you ‘The Inquisitive One?'” “Surely your mother did not let you leave home in that wretched old suit?” (The inquisitive one was in an uncharacteristically bad mood. Which...
Your phone rang. You looked down at the screen. It said, “The Inquisitive One.” “Hi, how are you?” you said, with a smile. “I’M IN PRISON!!!!” the inquisitive one shouted. “YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!!!!” “I’m sorry to hear that,” you said, with a frown. “WILL YOU COME POST TWO MILLION DOLLARS FOR MY BAIL????” “Your bail is two million...
A wise ant was living in the inquisitive one’s house. (The wise ant was living there full time, now that it was winter.) “Interesting about all those people storming the U.S. Capitol building,” remarked the wise ant. The inquisitive one was just waking up from a weeklong fest of alternately sleeping and listening to a podcast about how to care...
The inquisitive one’s personality, unbeknownst to the inquisitive one, according to my sources, has changed since the pandemic hit the United States. (My sources are mainly butterflies.) According to the butterflies who live in the inquisitive one’s house, and who occasionally escape out of doors to bring me secret reports, the inquisitive one used to be neat and tidy. Everything...
“This seems like a great time to start dating again!” said the inquisitive one, in a pandemic, as winter was approaching, and case counts were rising. “There’s no time like the present!” said the inquisitive one, while downloading a dating app onto the phone. The app requested some information. “This app is pretty nosy,” said the inquisitive one. “I don’t...
The inquisitive one, as you recall, was standing on top of a Californian mountain, surrounded by fire on all sides. “Oh no!” said the inquisitive one. “What am I going to do?” “Do, do, who you gonna rue,” someone said. The inquisitive one spun around and saw an ass. The ass was munching on a clump of weeds: half hanging...
In a panic, the inquisitive one grabbed the mangled reporter’s notepad and took off running. The inquisitive one is a very good runner. The inquisitive one has finished 574 ultramarathons. In fact, the inquisitive one finished in second place, in every single one of these 574 ultramarathons. So the inquisitive one is a very fast runner. But the inquisitive one...
For fun, the inquisitive one strapped on a mask and took the Metro into the heart of Washington, DC. The inquisitive one strolled past the White House. The inquisitive one ambled around the Washington Monument. The inquisitive one shimmied along the Reflecting Pool. The inquisitive one labored up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Having gazed in reverence at the...
THE EYES OPENED . . . again!! The inquisitive one could see only one thing—white, silky, cottony stuff. The inquisitive one felt unwell. “Urrrghhh. . . .” said the inquisitive one. “Get up, now!!” yelled the worm living in the inquisitive one’s bellybutton. “I’m starving!! Give me pizza!!!!” “Pizza sounds really good,” admitted the inquisitive one. “Then get on it!!...
Good day, blog readers. I write today to relay some news. That is to say, I have been working hard on a piece about the inquisitive one. Yes, I’ve been snooping about the inquisitive one’s house, endeavoring to learn just what the i.o. has been up to. I’ve been communicating with multiple sources. (While I can’t give away the identities...
The inquisitive one opened the eyes! The inquisitive one, however, could see nothing but lots of white, silky, cottony stuff, pressing into the face. The inquisitive one felt unwell. “Urrrghhh. . . .” said the inquisitive one. “Hey!! You’re finally awake!” shouted the worm living inside the inquisitive one’s bellybutton. “All I’ve had to eat in a week is peanut...
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Change Damon Centola
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Girl, Woman, Other Bernardine Evaristo
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Death in Her Hands Ottessa Moshfegh
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Upheaval Jared Diamond
A Journal of the Plague Year Daniel Defoe
Creatures Crissy Van Meter
Indelicacy Amina Cain
Say What You Mean Oren Jay Sofer
Habits of a Happy Brain Loretta Graziano Breuning
Bad Behavior, This Is Pleasure Mary Gaitskill
The Brother Gardeners Andrea Wulf
Severance Ling Ma
How to Be an Antiracist Ibram X. Kendi
The Museum of Modern Love Heather Rose
Why I Write George Orwell
The Woman Destroyed Simone de Beauvoir
Educated Tara Westover
The Gift Hafiz
The Collected Schizophrenias Esmé Weijun Wang
Your Duck Is My Duck Deborah Eisenberg
Sapiens Yuval Noah Harari
Milkman Anna Burns
Under the Banner of Heaven Jon Krakauer
Waiting for Bojangles Olivier Bourdeaut
A Mind Unraveled Kurt Eichenwald
Eugénie Grandet Honoré de Balzac
The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
The Bookshop Penelope Fitzgerald
Digital Minimalism Cal Newport
The Sisters Brothers Patrick deWitt
Dare to Lead Brené Brown
My Year of Rest and Relaxation Ottessa Moshfegh
Almost Everything Anne Lamott
Born to Run Christopher McDougall, Bruce Springsteen
The Ladies’ Paradise Émile Zola
The World Beyond Your Head Matthew B. Crawford
All the Birds, Singing Evie Wyld
Barracoon Zora Neale Hurston
Dandelion Wine Ray Bradbury
JavaScript & jQuery Jon Duckett
Home Fire Kamila Shamsie
The Weather Detective Peter Wohlleben
Play It As It Lays Joan Didion
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson
Convenience Store Woman Sayaka Murata
Perfect Me Heather Widdows
Sorry to Disrupt the Peace Patty Yumi Cottrell
Why Buddhism Is True Robert Wright
What Is Real? Adam Becker
Kudos Rachel Cusk
The Days of Abandonment Elena Ferrante
F*cked Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson
Searching for Stars on an Island in Maine Alan Lightman
Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
A Room of One’s Own Virginia Woolf
Homeland Elegies Ayad Akhtar
Becoming Attached Robert Karen
Piranesi Susanna Clarke
Don Quixote Miguel de Cervantes
Solitary Albert Woodfox
Girl, Woman, Other Bernardine Evaristo
Enlightenment by Trial and Error Jay Michaelson
Death in Her Hands Ottessa Moshfegh
The Cooking Gene Michael W. Twitty
The First Bad Man Miranda July
Upheaval Jared Diamond
A Journal of the Plague Year Daniel Defoe
Creatures Crissy Van Meter
Indelicacy Amina Cain
Say What You Mean Oren Jay Sofer
Habits of a Happy Brain Loretta Graziano Breuning
Bad Behavior, This Is Pleasure Mary Gaitskill
The Brother Gardeners Andrea Wulf
Severance Ling Ma
How to Be an Antiracist Ibram X. Kendi
The Museum of Modern Love Heather Rose
Why I Write George Orwell
The Woman Destroyed Simone de Beauvoir
Educated Tara Westover
The Gift Hafiz
The Collected Schizophrenias Esmé Weijun Wang
Your Duck Is My Duck Deborah Eisenberg
Sapiens Yuval Noah Harari
Milkman Anna Burns
Under the Banner of Heaven Jon Krakauer
Waiting for Bojangles Olivier Bourdeaut
A Mind Unraveled Kurt Eichenwald
Eugénie Grandet Honoré de Balzac
The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
The Bookshop Penelope Fitzgerald
Digital Minimalism Cal Newport
The Sisters Brothers Patrick deWitt
Dare to Lead Brené Brown
My Year of Rest and Relaxation Ottessa Moshfegh
Almost Everything Anne Lamott
Born to Run Christopher McDougall, Bruce Springsteen
The Ladies’ Paradise Émile Zola
The World Beyond Your Head Matthew B. Crawford
All the Birds, Singing Evie Wyld
Barracoon Zora Neale Hurston
Dandelion Wine Ray Bradbury
JavaScript & jQuery Jon Duckett
Home Fire Kamila Shamsie
The Weather Detective Peter Wohlleben
Play It As It Lays Joan Didion
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson
Convenience Store Woman Sayaka Murata
Perfect Me Heather Widdows
Sorry to Disrupt the Peace Patty Yumi Cottrell
Why Buddhism Is True Robert Wright
What Is Real? Adam Becker
Kudos Rachel Cusk
The Days of Abandonment Elena Ferrante
F*cked Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson
Searching for Stars on an Island in Maine Alan Lightman
Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
A Room of One’s Own Virginia Woolf
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