Hafiz, oh, my love, Hafiz! Last month, I wrote about stories that were so beautiful that I could not bear to write in the margins of my book. Today, I hesitate to write anything at all—in the margins, on this blog, anywhere!—about such wondrous poems as I have found.

In the Islamic tradition, I understand, there is a centuries-long idea called aniconism. Icons—that is, pictorial representations of anything living or holy—are avoided. This, as I understand it, is to avoid dishonoring the sacred creations of God.

My reluctance to write in, or about, my copy of The Gift by Hafiz (translated by Daniel Ladinsky) feels similar to the impulse not to draw God’s creations. Sometimes it’s better to let things be. It’s one thing to enjoy your personal reactions to what you encounter in life. It’s another to muck it all up by trying to communicate something uncommunicable. Art and language are, as a friend of mine recently proclaimed to me, blunt instruments.

But, in fact, my impulse not to write represents the antithesis of Islamic culture. Due partly to the tendency toward aniconism, poetry and language are very highly regarded in the Muslim world.

And one of the most highly regarded poets, by Persians of the past and today, is Hafiz. Hafiz lived in Shiraz (in today’s Iran) in the 14th century. In his lifetime, he became known as a great poet and Sufi master.

Sufism is Islamic mysticism. The word mysticism, no matter what religion it is attached to, refers to the search for direct experience with holiness and spirituality. Historically, mystics have been sometimes embraced by other religious practitioners for their insights, while at other times shunned for bucking traditions. Hafiz himself experienced both of these responses to him and his poetry.

I would like to share with you one of Hafiz’s poems. Notice how mystical the poem is—how uncommonly direct in spirituality.

GOD JUST CAME NEAR

No
One
In need of love
Can sit with my verse for
An hour
And then walk away without carrying
Golden tools,
And feeling that God
Just came
Near.

Oh, I cannot write about this! But I will try. Since I always read introductions last, I entered into Hafiz’s poems without prior knowledge or expectations. And what I kept thinking, over and over, as I read more and more of his poems, was, “He’s copying off Walt Whitman! Whitman is the poet who claims to be everything and everyone—in a spiritual sense—and who stakes out his poetry for all to glory in!”

Of course, it was Whitman who was the copycat. When I finally read the introductory sections, I learned that Ralph Waldo Emerson (a contemporary of Whitman) was a fan of Hafiz, and in fact translated his poetry into English. Whitman surely had access to Hafiz, then, . . . and, yes—I just did a Google search—this is confirmed. Also confirmed: people have documented many similarities between the two poets’ works.

And with that, good day, God has come near. Hafiz, oh, my love, Hafiz! I can write no more.

A relative of mine recently emailed me and other relatives to ask a philosophical question: Does it matter whether people actually believe the tenets of their religious faith?

I wrote back with a response, which went something like this: Our beliefs and the stories we tell are extremely important. These cannot be discounted as superfluous aspects of a religion. They are important because they affect our real-world decisions. How we think about things matters.

Not long after that, I read the masterpiece Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Harari, in this book, delves into this topic in a much more comprehensive way than I did. The book helped to clarify my understanding of this philosophical point.

Stories and beliefs have a childlike reputation, as if they are merely tricks to get us to fall asleep; but therein lies their incredible power. Because, as Harari explains, the tricks work: and we are lulled into a world where everyone gets along under the magical umbrella of the story.

He writes: “Myths, it transpired, are stronger than anyone could have imagined.” Humankind is the only species that uses language to tell stories about things not present in the immediate surroundings. My chickens can make a distress call that means “There’s a hawk nearby!” But they cannot make a sound that means “That’s the same hawk we saw yesterday, but different from the one we saw the day before that,” or “That hawk is beautiful, look at those marvelous feathers,” or “That hawk was sent by a great and powerful god!”

Humans can say such things, and through language and myth they are able to build large societies of strangers working together under the same belief systems. Harari calls a belief system an imagined order. And he explains that religion is only one of many spheres in which people use stories and beliefs to foster cooperation. Here’s an interesting passage from the book:

“An imagined order can be maintained only if large segments of the population—and in particular large segments of the elite and the security forces—truly believe in it. Christianity would not have lasted 2,000 years if the majority of bishops and priests failed to believe in Christ. American democracy would not have lasted almost 250 years if the majority of presidents and congressmen failed to believe in human rights. The modern economic system would not have lasted a single day if the majority of investors and bankers failed to believe in capitalism.”

Harari points out that unless you are a true cynic, you believe in at least one, and probably many, imagined orders. The true cynic, he explains, is not apt to cooperate with anyone. In the cynic’s mind, all that talk about religion, patriotism, human rights, finance, politics, romance, and so on is just so much B.S. The true cynic will conclude that it’s better to sit alone with one’s home-brewed beer, cherry tree, and shotgun and try to enjoy life before it’s all over.

But then Harari points out the flip side of this. If you’re not a true cynic and thus do believe in something, it’s ultimately impossible (if you decide to go down that rabbit hole, which may or may not be advisable) to prove the truth of your cherished imagined orders. They are likely, upon logical scrutiny, to evaporate into nothing. This is where the word faith comes in.

And so, as Harari explains, because we have faith in the existence of the monetary system, we can have booming economies, home mortgages, business loans, and one-day Amazon deliveries. Because we have faith in the existence of our countries, we can have complex societies that provide schools, police, libraries, mail service, defense, unemployment benefits, and scientific research. Harari does not try to claim that these things are necessarily better than what humans had originally in their hunter-gatherer state; but he does explain that there’s no going back.

(In order to go back to a pre-imagined-order state, we would have to get everyone to agree to do this together. Otherwise, those with an imagined order would simply cooperate and trounce those without. But the only way to get a large group of people to agree to do something is through an imagined order.)

And so, Harari provides a somewhat tragic but interesting and ultimately, I think, correct answer to my relative’s philosophical question. It is important for people to actually believe something if they are to form a cohesive group of strangers—one that’s not just an accidental encounter of isolated cynics who are unlikely to cooperate. Of course, a few members of a religious group, nation, or financial market can be cynics without the whole operation falling apart. But the majority must believe—especially, as Harari explains, the leaders and the enforcers.

Are you a believer or a cynic?

I have gotten almost every job I’ve ever held in the standard way. First, I would submit a cover letter and resume. Next, I would wait to be invited to an interview. After the interview, I would send a thank-you note. Finally, I would wait for a phone call. At various key points in my life, I was fortunate enough to actually receive that phone call with a job offer. But this is not the only way to get a job! I was gobsmacked by the unconventional talents in job acquisition that Kurt Eichenwald displayed over his long career. Let’s examine how to get a job by using some nonstandard, Eichenwald-inspired techniques.

Background on Kurt Eichenwald

Kurt Eichenwald’s memoir A Mind Unraveled, published in 2018, chronicles his struggles with epilepsy. His story is much broader than just a discussion of a medical problem, though. He faces almost unsurmountable difficulties in navigating the health care industry, getting a college education, and launching the career he wants. These difficulties arise from not just the epilepsy and the medications for the epilepsy, but also the misunderstandings, negligence, and hostility of others. Through astounding persistence and ingenuity, Eichenwald is able to achieve his education and career goals.

For us readers, his memoir is a series of lessons on how to do things in boldly unconventional ways—either because life has thrown us a curveball and we have no options left, or because that’s just who we are.

Employment Strategy #1: Do a 2-Week Task in 5 Minutes

At an unpaid summer internship, Eichenwald is assigned a task that no one else wants to do. It’s a tedious task of locating a tiny scrap of information by placing a bunch of random phone calls. (This was before the days of the Internet.) Eichenwald invented what he thought might be an easier way to obtain the information. His strategy worked, and his supervisors were amazed. As a result, the supervisors assigned Eichenwald a complex, demanding project that gave him invaluable experience, not to mention fodder for his resume, which would help him get the paid job he wanted in the future.

Takeaway unconventional technique:

Don’t assume that you have to do an assignment in the way you were told to do it. And don’t ask permission to do something in an unconventional way; your supervisors will likely say no. As long as you’re not breaking any laws or important rules, just do it, and see if it works. If it doesn’t, you can always switch back to the conventional way.

Employment Strategy #2: Turn a Low-Level Volunteer Gig Into a High-Level One

Not yet having the credentials to get a paying job in the field he wanted, Eichenwald volunteered for a nonprofit. He applied for a particular volunteer position because it seemed vaguely related to what he wanted to get paid to do. The position, however, was at a low level; he would not obtain the experience he sought by staying in that role. But he realized that, once he got the position, he would have the chance to prove himself worthy of a high-level volunteer job. He did this by showing up uninvited to a meeting, presenting an interesting and workable proposal, and offering to do the work himself. His offer was accepted, and suddenly he was building skills and a powerful resume, by doing the job he wanted to get paid to do. Soon he would have the chops to apply for a paying job in that field.

Takeaway unconventional technique:

First, identify volunteer opportunities that are somewhat close to what you want to do. Next, get to know the paid staff, and let them know they can trust you. Then, instead of waiting to be invited to move up, make a bold proposal. Your proposal must be well thought out, and you must come across as highly competent to get the job done. Then get the job done.

Employment Strategy #3: Don’t Tell Them What They Don’t Need to Know

Eichenwald learned that it’s essential to tell the truth, but that the whole truth is not always conducive to achieving your career goals. For example, while working as a volunteer, while he still did not have a college degree, Eichenwald (as part of the high-level assignment he had talked himself into) needed to put pressure on people in government. He decided not to disclose the fact that he was an unpaid volunteer and a college student. While never telling a lie, he persuaded officials that he was a big enough deal that they should be frightened. As a result, he not only achieved his objective, but also received an offer from the mayor to join a new task force.

Later, when Eichenwald was applying for paid employment, he discovered that it was better not to disclose his epilepsy to hiring staff. If and when he got a job, he would let his supervisor know on the first day of work. This significantly increased the chances that he would be able to find a job. In some cases, telling his supervisor resulted in the employer trying to force him out. But even in those instances, he was able to work and receive pay for a short time, while resuming his job search. Plus, working somewhere, even for a short time, bulked up his resume.

Takeaway unconventional technique:

While never telling outright lies, strive to make people believe you are strong. Because you are. Maybe you have a health issue. Or maybe you don’t have a degree in the field in which you seek employment. Or maybe people jump to conclusions about who you are because of your age, a physical trait, or another characteristic. None of those things matter. If you know you can do the job, try to hide anything that might make someone turn you away.

On the other hand, if you know something will be an issue, disclose it . . . but wait to do so until it’s absolutely necessary.

Employment Strategy #4: Show Up and Start Working

Upon graduating from college, Eichenwald didn’t land an internship in his dream industry. So he took an internship for an organization in the same building as one of the organizations that had rejected him. At lunchtime one day, he wandered into the offices of the organization that had rejected him and asked someone if he needed help with a stack of papers. The person did not inquire whether Eichenwald actually worked there, but was glad for the assistance. And so Eichenwald began helping out before his internship began in the morning, during lunch break, and after his internship ended in the evening. When the boss finally noticed, weeks later, that Eichenwald was working without an internship, he got angry . . . but didn’t kick him out. Eichenwald had made himself too valuable. So he was allowed to stay on as an intern.

Takeaway unconventional technique:

When someone tells you no, push back. Find a way to make yourself valuable to the organization. Don’t ask permission, just do something helpful.

Employment Strategy #5: Reach Out and Be Available

When Eichenwald wanted to change jobs, he asked his colleagues for ideas on who might be hiring. He eventually acquired the name of a prominent person and gave him a call. The person told Eichenwald that he had no open jobs, but would be glad to meet him, the next time he happened to be in New York City. Eichenwald could have thanked him and hung up; instead, he told the person that he was scheduled to be in NYC the day after tomorrow! Two seconds prior to that, Eichenwald had not been scheduled to be in NYC on that day. But, at that point, of course, Eichenwald was scheduled to be in NYC on that day. Once they had arranged a meeting time and place and hung up, Eichenwald scrambled to come up with the money he needed to get himself to NYC by the day after tomorrow.

Takeaway unconventional technique:

Network like crazy—and with a goal in mind. Continually project competence and confidence to the people around you, and help them in any way you can. Then, when you seek a tip yourself, your network will be glad to help you. When you finally get in touch with someone with the power to hire you to your goal job, make things easy on that person—even if that makes things extremely difficult on you.

Employment Strategy #6: Enlist Others to Advocate for You

Eichenwald was in the running for a promotion: from coffee bringer, etc., to something much bigger. Things were looking promising, but then he heard a rumor that he was not going to get the promotion. Astonishingly, he had had the foresight to prepare a list of names and phone numbers, in case this happened. When it happened, he used it:

“I telephoned everyone at the Times who knew me or who owed me favors. . . . I asked each of them to call on my behalf to the boss of the editor about to hand down the bad news.”

The next day, an assistant managing editor called Eichenwald into his office:

“‘Congratulations,’ he said. . . . ‘You’re a reporter trainee for The New York Times.'”

Takeaway unconventional technique:

First, get yourself hired at the organization you want to work for, even if it’s the lowliest position there is. Next, meet everyone you can, and do them as many favors as possible. Finally, when it’s needed, call in those favors.

A Caveat on Getting a Job the Unconventional Way

The strategies listed in this article are risky! Each of them could have easily backfired. You need mad social skills, intellect, and confidence to pull them off. But there’s good news: social skills, intellect, and confidence are all teachable and learnable skills. If you possess these skills already, take them and run with them! If you don’t, I promise, you can learn them. It might take some time and dedication, but you can learn them. And, who knows? Acquiring these skills and putting them to use in unconventional ways might help you land your dream job one day.

Additional Resources on Being Bold and Unconventional

Read the memoir for the full, fascinating story: A Mind Unraveled by Kurt Eichenwald.

Check out my other blog posts on the memoir: my blog posts on A Mind Unraveled.

See also my blog posts on Dare to Lead, a book that provides research-based guidelines on how to be courageous in the business world: my blog posts on Dare to Lead by Brené Brown.

Subscribe to the newsletter to receive articles like this in your inbox: subscribe to the newsletter.

What do we pay doctors to do?

Use medical instruments to collect data? Record that data in our charts? Perform procedures? Prescribe medications? Give referrals to other medical specialists? Recommend home care remedies and strategies?

Have I forgotten anything?

The author of a new memoir would say YES!

Kurt Eichenwald has written an astounding memoir, published last year, about his lifelong struggles with epilepsy . . . and people. He tells a story that made me cringe and kept me riveted. I was especially intrigued because his story has so many similarities to my own.

I do not suffer from epilepsy. I have not suffered from drug side effects to the extent that Eichenwald has. But I have suffered from debilitating medical issues. I have also suffered from drug side effects. And I have suffered, like Eichenwald, from the missteps, overconfidence, and occasional outright hostility of other people, while I was trying to attain the medical care I needed.

Perhaps one day I will write my story. But I’m not sure I have much to express that Eichenwald hasn’t already brilliantly covered in A Mind Unraveled.

Experiencing a health problem is scary. Full of fears and anxieties, we turn to doctors for their expertise; and we believe what they tell us. We want to believe; we feel that we have no choice but to believe. But Eichenwald tells a horrific story of doctor after doctor failing him. He was misdiagnosed, multiple times. He was treated with condescension and disrespect, multiple times. He was prescribed medications that almost killed him, multiple times. He was wrongly informed that his seizures were not epilepsy, but a psychological disorder, multiple times.

Finally, after years of worsening epileptic seizures, and years of taking seriously high doses of medication without proper physician monitoring; after years of not knowing where he would wake up next, or with what debilitating injuries; after years of enduring discrimination for having a disability, and personal trauma and that almost resulted in him giving up on life entirely—he finally stumbled upon a doctor who was willing and able to help him. Here’s what happened during Eichenwald’s first consultation with Dr. Naarden:

“After twenty minutes, Naarden had already spent more time speaking with me than any other neurologist ever had.”

What?! No other neurologist had spent more than a total of twenty minutes talking with their patient about a serious, debilitating medical problem?

During that first visit, Dr. Naarden went on to speak with Eichenwald for much longer than twenty minutes. And he continued talking with his patient. He talked with him not just during the initial consultation, but during future visits. And this communication went both ways. The doctor listened very carefully to Eichenwald’s story and asked follow-up questions. He also told Eichenwald, in detail, what he knew about Eichenwald’s current medical situation, what he didn’t know about it, and what he would like to do in an attempt to learn more.

This communication was essential to a correct diagnosis of Eichenwald’s disorder. It was also essential to the series of careful, logical steps the doctor had to take to get Eichenwald’s epilepsy under better control, as well as to prevent high levels of drugs from further damaging the patient’s health. Finally, it was essential in instilling a sense of trust in Eichenwald, who by then had understandably given up on trusting any doctor, and was hesitant to do anything one advised him to do.

When a doctor talks with a patient about a medical issue, this is not wasted time. This is an integral part of the data-gathering process. Anecdotal information from the patient is equally as valuable as measurements obtained from diagnostic tests. When a doctor does not gather information from a patient, key pieces of the puzzle go missing. The doctor is then forced to jump to conclusions.

I was shocked that no other doctor had spent time talking with Eichenwald . . . but I was not surprised. The same thing happened to me. After encountering a series of doctors who misdiagnosed me and gave me wrong treatments and advice, which significantly worsened my problems, I finally stumbled upon one who was willing and able to help me.

How long had each of the unsuccessful doctors spent speaking with me about my health issues, total?

Yep, less than twenty minutes.

How long did the successful doctor spend speaking with me—during my initial consultation alone!—about my health issues?

Yep, more than twenty minutes.

So, what do we pay doctors to do?

The following is a true story about if vs whether grammar pitfalls that can happen in business communications.

The First Email

A few weeks ago, one of the leaders of the company I work for sent all employees an email announcing an upcoming company event and listing possible dates on which it might be held. The leader also wrote this:

“Please let me know if you have any known conflicts.”

This sentence, being an “if statement,” is equivalent to the following:

This type of statement expresses a logical condition. If this, then that. Conditional statements say nothing about instances in which the condition is false, only about instances in which the condition is true.

I checked my calendar and ascertained that I did not have any known conflicts. Thus—according to the grammar of the sentence—the rest of the statement (about letting the leader know) did not apply. I figured that the leader did not want an inbox full of emails saying “I have no known conflicts.” The leader wanted to know only about cases in which there were conflicts, thus avoiding superfluous emails.

So I did not reply. I wasn’t—I swear!—just pretending not to understand the sentence, to prove what an awesomely fastidious grammar queen I am. I really thought I was doing what was wanted of me.

The Second Email

A week later, the leader sent out a second email:

“Just a reminder that we would like to know if you have any known conflicts. . . . If you’ve already replied – thanks and no need to send again.”

Like the sentence in the first email, these sentences, grammatically, indicate conditions:

I did not have any known conflicts, so the rest of the first sentence did not apply to me. I also had not already replied, so the rest of the second sentence did not apply to me, either. Strictly speaking, then, there was no need to reply.

Analysis: Should the Leader Have Used If or Whether?

However, being the twenty-first-century English speaker that I am, I know that the word if is commonly colloquially used in place of the word whether. Unlike if, which indicates that there is a condition with only one option (only one “then” to follow the “if”), whether indicates that there are two options (and does not indicate a condition).

If the leader had, in fact, mistakenly used if instead of whether, the sentence in the first email would be equivalent to this:

This statement is not conditional, and it indicates two options. No matter which instance is true—whether I have any known conflicts or don’t have any known conflicts—I should let the leader know.

The second email is trickier. If the leader had mistakenly used if instead of whether in both sentences, we would get this:

The first statement expresses the same thing as in the first email when if was changed to whether (i.e., I should reply no matter what). The second statement does not make sense. If you have not already replied, it is not possible to do so again. This statement doesn’t make sense because the leader was expressing a condition, and so if was, indeed, the correct word choice. To avoid confusion, whether technically should have been chosen in the other two sentences—that is, if the leader did not intend to express a condition, but rather two options.

That was the conclusion I came to, anyway, upon receiving the second email. So I replied. I guess that was an appropriate response, since the leader wrote back to me with “Thank you!”

Note for the Record

I did not, while reading the emails and deciding whether to respond, have intricate thoughts about conditional statements, two options, and so on; my thoughts and actions happened more organically than that. It was only in writing this blog post that I was able to piece together the exact grammatical reasoning behind my comprehension (or lack thereof!) of the emails.

A Little If vs Whether Grammar Quiz

Here’s a little if vs whether grammar quiz. In the following grammatically correct sentence, what is the conditional statement? What is the statement that is not conditional and indicates two options?