“I rarely see people who are selfish and narcissistic in this program. Rather, it is the ‘good and kind’ people of the world who tend to suffer with Mind Body Syndrome.” —Howard Schubiner with Michael Betzold, Unlearn Your Pain, Fourth Edition Why, thank you for the compliment. I’m blushing. But what kind of perverse, reverse karma is this? I’m a...
Picasso and Hemingway. Two artists so famous and celebrated that I don’t need to write their first names. But, as Claire Dederer points out in her recent book Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma, they were both hypermasculine . . . and cruel and abusive to women. Dederer has a theory on why this might have been the case: “If you are...
I can’t believe I’m writing a blog post about Star Trek. This is out of character for me. I don’t think I’ve watched a single episode all the way through, though I did watch one of the movies. (The movie mentioned Moby-Dick, which made me happy.) Despite this, I have somehow imbibed enough of Star Trek culture to know the...
No one knows what to think about Haruki Murakami. That is, everyone knows what to think, but no one can agree. The Japanese fiction author is both beloved and pooh-poohed around the world, by throngs of admiring fans and those who hold their noses in the air. Love him or hate him, he has a new book out called First...
Sometimes the ability to stay up for multiple days and nights in a row, joyfully performing a highly specific and demanding task, is beneficial. One chapter of the book Projections, by Karl Deisseroth, focuses on bipolar. As usual, Deisseroth tells the story of one patient who suffers from the disorder, alongside his own story as a psychologist, as well as...
I often think about the maxim that the most interesting findings occur at the intersections of fields. I recently discovered a book that lands at the intersection of literature, psychiatry, and neuroscience. It was a fabulous read. I discovered this book in a tiny, one-paragraph blurb in the New Yorker; the book wasn’t even featured in an article. But it...
Although I am featuring a photo of a boy in this article about avoidant attachment, and I featured a photo of a girl in last time’s article about preoccupied attachment, attachment styles can occur in either sex. Also, the passage I quote below uses the “he” pronoun, but in the book it’s made clear that the avoidant child can be...
I’m going to call this attachment style preoccupied, because I think that word suits it best (though others may disagree). The book Becoming Attached, by Robert Karen, uses the term ambivalent. These terms, plus the term anxious, all refer to the same attachment style. It’s an insecure style, which means that somehow things didn’t go well enough during childhood, in...
Jay Michaelson is surely a contender for the most interesting and accomplished person alive. His areas of expertise are so wide-ranging that one wonders how they can occur in a single human being. He is an attorney who also has a PhD in religion. His areas of expertise include Judaism, Buddhism, law, politics, meditation, and mysticism. He has been a...
I recently met, through a dating app, a man with an interesting philosophy about text messaging. In his view—if I may presume to attempt to state it correctly here—texting should be purely transactional. The purpose of texts is to set up a time and place to meet in person. To try to convey emotion or wit through a text is...
One of the most frustrating situations in life is that of knowing you are having an illogical emotion, but having it anyway. The tragedy of this situation is perhaps second only to that of watching yourself act in accordance with that illogical emotion. In the wonderful collection of short stories Your Duck Is My Duck, by Deborah Eisenberg, many of...
Lest you think I’ve abandoned writing about books in favor of writing about travel, let’s talk books today. My next blog post will preview a book about America—promise! But today, let’s linger overseas. Let me first tell you about a famous English-language bookstore in Paris called Shakespeare and Company. It’s located across the street from Notre Dame, it has an...
I am not sure how to write this blog post. The topic is too big and mind-blowing to easily encapsulate in such a short form. But I’ll try. Plus, I’m afraid my language is going to get too corny and New Agey to be taken seriously. But please try to understand. In all honesty, this blog itself might not have...
Earlier in the chapter I quoted in my previous blog post, the protagonist says something that I found fascinating, sad, and immediately recognizable: “I don’t let my thoughts touch the sides as I take the crowbar out of the toolbox . . .” “I don’t let my thoughts touch the sides”: I get that; I have felt that way before....
When a female protagonist is subsumed by everyone she meets, even when she’s supposed to be the center of attention, is this a statement about women in society? When she is possibly troubled, is this a statement about people with emotional scars in society? When she is a novelist, is this a statement about writers in society? In Kudos, the...
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Books previewed
I’m Glad My Mom Died Jennette McCurdy
Unlearn Your Pain Howard Schubiner with Michael Betzold
The Way Out Alan Gordon with Alon Ziv
The Best Minds Jonathan Rosen
Monsters Claire Dederer
Spare Prince Harry
As I Lay Dying William Faulkner
Rebuilt Michael Chorost
Losing Music John Cotter
Kokoro Natsume Sōseki
Party Going / Living / Loving Henry Green
Chatter Ethan Kross
Tender Is the Night F. Scott Fitzgerald
Stay True Hua Hsu
The Invisible Kingdom Meghan O’Rourke
How to Be Perfect Michael Schur
Orfeo Richard Powers
Unwinding Anxiety Judson Brewer
The Confidence Men Margalit Fox
Liberation Day George Saunders
Pandora’s Jar Natalie Haynes
Night of the Living Rez Morgan Talty
The Journalist and the Murderer Janet Malcolm
Mislaid Nell Zink
Exercised Daniel E. Lieberman
Lapvona Ottessa Moshfegh
Empire of Pain Patrick Radden Keefe
Furious Hours Casey Cep
First Person Singular Haruki Murakami
Klara and the Sun Kazuo Ishiguro
Dead Souls Sam Riviere
The Pale King David Foster Wallace
Lightning Flowers Katherine E. Standefer
Beautiful World, Where Are You / Normal People / Conversations With Friends Sally Rooney
Swan Dive Georgina Pazcoguin
A Passage North Anuk Arudpragasam
Lucky Jim Kingsley Amis
Projections Karl Deisseroth
The Indian Lawyer James Welch
Atomic Habits James Clear
The History of Philosophy A. C. Grayling
Dusk, Night, Dawn Anne Lamott
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Philip K. Dick
Nothing to See Here Kevin Wilson
Change Damon Centola
Homeland Elegies Ayad Akhtar
Becoming Attached Robert Karen
Piranesi Susanna Clarke
Don Quixote Miguel de Cervantes
Solitary Albert Woodfox
Girl, Woman, Other Bernardine Evaristo
Enlightenment by Trial and Error Jay Michaelson
Death in Her Hands Ottessa Moshfegh
The Cooking Gene Michael W. Twitty
The First Bad Man Miranda July
Upheaval Jared Diamond
A Journal of the Plague Year Daniel Defoe
Creatures Crissy Van Meter
Indelicacy Amina Cain
Say What You Mean Oren Jay Sofer
Habits of a Happy Brain Loretta Graziano Breuning
Bad Behavior, This Is Pleasure Mary Gaitskill
The Brother Gardeners Andrea Wulf
Severance Ling Ma
How to Be an Antiracist Ibram X. Kendi
The Museum of Modern Love Heather Rose
Why I Write George Orwell
The Woman Destroyed Simone de Beauvoir
Educated Tara Westover
The Gift Hafiz
The Collected Schizophrenias Esmé Weijun Wang
Your Duck Is My Duck Deborah Eisenberg
Sapiens Yuval Noah Harari
Milkman Anna Burns
Under the Banner of Heaven Jon Krakauer
Waiting for Bojangles Olivier Bourdeaut
A Mind Unraveled Kurt Eichenwald
Eugénie Grandet Honoré de Balzac
The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
The Bookshop Penelope Fitzgerald
Digital Minimalism Cal Newport
The Sisters Brothers Patrick deWitt
Dare to Lead Brené Brown
My Year of Rest and Relaxation Ottessa Moshfegh
Almost Everything Anne Lamott
Born to Run Christopher McDougall, Bruce Springsteen
The Ladies’ Paradise Émile Zola
The World Beyond Your Head Matthew B. Crawford
All the Birds, Singing Evie Wyld
Barracoon Zora Neale Hurston
Dandelion Wine Ray Bradbury
JavaScript & jQuery Jon Duckett
Home Fire Kamila Shamsie
The Weather Detective Peter Wohlleben
Play It As It Lays Joan Didion
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson
Convenience Store Woman Sayaka Murata
Perfect Me Heather Widdows
Sorry to Disrupt the Peace Patty Yumi Cottrell
Why Buddhism Is True Robert Wright
What Is Real? Adam Becker
Kudos Rachel Cusk
The Days of Abandonment Elena Ferrante
F*cked Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson
Searching for Stars on an Island in Maine Alan Lightman
Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
A Room of One’s Own Virginia Woolf
Unlearn Your Pain Howard Schubiner with Michael Betzold
The Way Out Alan Gordon with Alon Ziv
The Best Minds Jonathan Rosen
Monsters Claire Dederer
Spare Prince Harry
As I Lay Dying William Faulkner
Rebuilt Michael Chorost
Losing Music John Cotter
Kokoro Natsume Sōseki
Party Going / Living / Loving Henry Green
Chatter Ethan Kross
Tender Is the Night F. Scott Fitzgerald
Stay True Hua Hsu
The Invisible Kingdom Meghan O’Rourke
How to Be Perfect Michael Schur
Orfeo Richard Powers
Unwinding Anxiety Judson Brewer
The Confidence Men Margalit Fox
Liberation Day George Saunders
Pandora’s Jar Natalie Haynes
Night of the Living Rez Morgan Talty
The Journalist and the Murderer Janet Malcolm
Mislaid Nell Zink
Exercised Daniel E. Lieberman
Lapvona Ottessa Moshfegh
Empire of Pain Patrick Radden Keefe
Furious Hours Casey Cep
First Person Singular Haruki Murakami
Klara and the Sun Kazuo Ishiguro
Dead Souls Sam Riviere
The Pale King David Foster Wallace
Lightning Flowers Katherine E. Standefer
Beautiful World, Where Are You / Normal People / Conversations With Friends Sally Rooney
Swan Dive Georgina Pazcoguin
A Passage North Anuk Arudpragasam
Lucky Jim Kingsley Amis
Projections Karl Deisseroth
The Indian Lawyer James Welch
Atomic Habits James Clear
The History of Philosophy A. C. Grayling
Dusk, Night, Dawn Anne Lamott
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Philip K. Dick
Nothing to See Here Kevin Wilson
Change Damon Centola
Homeland Elegies Ayad Akhtar
Becoming Attached Robert Karen
Piranesi Susanna Clarke
Don Quixote Miguel de Cervantes
Solitary Albert Woodfox
Girl, Woman, Other Bernardine Evaristo
Enlightenment by Trial and Error Jay Michaelson
Death in Her Hands Ottessa Moshfegh
The Cooking Gene Michael W. Twitty
The First Bad Man Miranda July
Upheaval Jared Diamond
A Journal of the Plague Year Daniel Defoe
Creatures Crissy Van Meter
Indelicacy Amina Cain
Say What You Mean Oren Jay Sofer
Habits of a Happy Brain Loretta Graziano Breuning
Bad Behavior, This Is Pleasure Mary Gaitskill
The Brother Gardeners Andrea Wulf
Severance Ling Ma
How to Be an Antiracist Ibram X. Kendi
The Museum of Modern Love Heather Rose
Why I Write George Orwell
The Woman Destroyed Simone de Beauvoir
Educated Tara Westover
The Gift Hafiz
The Collected Schizophrenias Esmé Weijun Wang
Your Duck Is My Duck Deborah Eisenberg
Sapiens Yuval Noah Harari
Milkman Anna Burns
Under the Banner of Heaven Jon Krakauer
Waiting for Bojangles Olivier Bourdeaut
A Mind Unraveled Kurt Eichenwald
Eugénie Grandet Honoré de Balzac
The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
The Bookshop Penelope Fitzgerald
Digital Minimalism Cal Newport
The Sisters Brothers Patrick deWitt
Dare to Lead Brené Brown
My Year of Rest and Relaxation Ottessa Moshfegh
Almost Everything Anne Lamott
Born to Run Christopher McDougall, Bruce Springsteen
The Ladies’ Paradise Émile Zola
The World Beyond Your Head Matthew B. Crawford
All the Birds, Singing Evie Wyld
Barracoon Zora Neale Hurston
Dandelion Wine Ray Bradbury
JavaScript & jQuery Jon Duckett
Home Fire Kamila Shamsie
The Weather Detective Peter Wohlleben
Play It As It Lays Joan Didion
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson
Convenience Store Woman Sayaka Murata
Perfect Me Heather Widdows
Sorry to Disrupt the Peace Patty Yumi Cottrell
Why Buddhism Is True Robert Wright
What Is Real? Adam Becker
Kudos Rachel Cusk
The Days of Abandonment Elena Ferrante
F*cked Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson
Searching for Stars on an Island in Maine Alan Lightman
Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
A Room of One’s Own Virginia Woolf
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