One of my favorite parts of the novel Eugénie Grandet, by Honoré de Balzac, is a snippet of dialogue. In this brief exchange, Balzac clearly shows how different his characters’ mindsets are. The husband and wife are not living in the same universe!

The snippet of dialogue is also a great example of spin. That is, it shows how the crafty use of language can greatly affect how an audience feels about a person or issue. Check this out. The family has just learned that Monsieur Grandet’s brother was, before he died, a bankrupt:

Isn’t that hilarious? Maybe you had to be there (in the middle of reading the book), but I think this is brilliant comedy. First of all, the wife and daughter are so clueless about the world of finance that they do not know the word bankrupt. Second, while all the characters perceive the words dishonorable and guilty as negative, the husband thinks of them in terms of a relationship with other people, while the wife thinks of them in terms of a relationship with God. Third, the way Monsieur Grandet twists words around is truly—dare I say—presidential.

Here is a checklist for manipulating people by being conniving with language, in case you are interested in going that route:

1. If you want someone to believe something is bad, use the worst-sounding words you can, regardless of their truth. Dishonourable, guilty, and thief are excellent examples.
2. If someone replies to you in a way that doesn’t fit your worldview, immediately condescend them. Do not delay! Delaying will give them a chance to question your authority. You must immediately strike back. Make that person feel that they are wrong, wrong, wrong, and it’s impossible that they could ever be right—unless, of course, they agree with you.
3. If there are established laws or mores that contradict your worldview, use language to paint them as bizarre and nonsensical. Your audience should get the impression that the happenstance of the laws or mores existing have no history; they must have just plopped into the world without people noticing or thinking too hard about them. Make your audience believe that changing these laws or mores is not a matter of critical thinking about issues, but of common sense.

So what is the most dishonorable deed a person can commit?

Honoré de Balzac’s novel Eugénie Grandet seems to imply that, contrary to popular belief, money can buy happiness!

One of the main characters in the novel, Monsieur Grandet, glows with happiness upon learning of the multiplication of his funds, and when beholding his piles of gold. He even, upon receiving especially good news concerning his accounts, literally sings and dances.

But the novel also implies that an increase in money does not cause an increase in happiness for everyone, just for those rare people who are true misers. Monsieur Grandet’s wife and daughter do not experience greater happiness from the acquisition of money. In fact, as the reader is surprised to learn, they don’t even know how much they are financially worth, or that their fortune dwarfs the net worth of many of their neighbors combined!

The tragedy of this scenario is that Eugénie and her mother, not comprehending that they are multimillionaires, also do not comprehend the true nature of their “friendships.” Money-hungry men and their money-hungry relatives come regularly to the Grandet house to court Eugénie. Poor Madame and Mademoiselle Grandet think that these people like them for themselves, not for their money.

At the point that the reader learns of this wretched situation, Balzac tosses in the following aphorism:

“How horrible is man’s condition! He does not own one happiness whose source does not lie in ignorance of some kind.”

It’s a Balzacian aphorism; but is it true? I would like to debate this question with you. I would argue that Monsieur Grandet’s joy in acquiring money would be significantly lower if he were not so ignorant about its detrimental effects on his family, as well as on himself. Further, his wife and daughter would surely have been horrified to learn that the people praising them did not genuinely like them.

On the other hand, ignorance can lead to misery over the long term, as is evident by witnessing these characters’ deteriorating lives as the years pass. Thus, learning key facts about the world, and acting accordingly, can save one from sorrow. It can also bring one a quiet contentment that, while perhaps of a different nature than the bliss of ignorance, is still a form of happiness.

What do you think: is ignorance necessary for happiness?

Rumor has it that Honoré de Balzac drank 50 cups of coffee every day.

Only recently did I learn about this prodigious feat of metabolic activity. I had noted on an online dating profile that I was a writer of novels who was reading Balzac. A number of men contacted me with the inquiry as to whether my coffee habits were as epicurean as the famous nineteenth-century French novelist’s.

Replying that they were not (surely they could not be, since I prefer tea), I searched the Internet and found many websites that repeated the rumor. (I especially enjoyed this hilarious take!)

Oddly enough, though, the Balzac novel I was reading focused not on gross overindulgence, but the opposite—call it gross underindulgence.

Monsieur Grandet, one of the main characters of the novel Eugénie Grandet, is the richest person for miles around—a multimillionaire!—and yet he and his family live in near poverty. Their house is falling apart; they light fires only on the very coldest days; they use the fewest and most inexpensive candles to light a room; and they eat and drink only a scant daily allotment.

Monsieur Grandet is plainly a miser. Here’s a little view into his philosophy of life:

“‘You have no sooner put your lips to a glass than it is empty!’ he said. ‘Such is life. You cannot eat your cake and have it too. You can’t use your money and keep it in your purse. Life would be too good if you could.'”

So he chooses to keep his money in his purse. To be a multimillionaire who is depriving oneself and one’s family from all comfort seems like madness. It seems nearly as crazy as drinking 50 cups of coffee every day! But there’s a certain wisdom in Grandet’s philosophy.

The next time you see someone who owns a car like the one pictured above, keep in mind that that person is poor!—if not actually, then at least comparatively. And if that person lives in a mansion and has lots of servants and wears only custom-made clothing and drinks only the finest wine every evening? Poorer still.

Where do you put your money?