I can’t catch a break. What is going on? Every few days or so, I get myself tangled up in another incident. I used to think one of my brothers was accident prone. Now I know: I must’ve inherited the same family trait.
Two days ago, I was trimming bushes in my yard. I was being VERY careful as regards my injuries. I was concentrating VERY hard on how my arms were feeling (was I overdoing it?) and how my head was feeling (would the noise of the lawnmower across the street give me symptoms?). But I guess I forgot about regular old common sense safety.
As I was trimming the bushes, I encountered a little sapling tree. I should’ve gotten out my tree pruner. I should NOT have bent the sapling over and hacked away at it with my bush pruner: the wrong tool to use. Well, I finally hacked through the thing, and the part still attached to the ground snapped back up and hit me, HARD, in the nose.
So then I had a mini panic attack: did I just re-concuss myself? Did I break my nose? Is there blood? What just happened? Should I start breathing like I’m sprinting, and let my thoughts run rampant to all the worst places the mind can go?
But, you guys and gals. I did a really good job with the anxiety. So proud of myself. I tried to look at the situation objectively. (See my post on seeing clearly!) I looked at myself in the mirror: my nose looked normal. No crookedness or blood, though it hurt like hell, all the way up into the sinuses and bridge. No black eyes. I blew my nose, and there was a small spot of blood, but no more. I tried to use the computer, but my eyes started hurting after four minutes. Okay, so my eyes need to rest. Fine. Then I called a few people, because it’s always good to connect with other humans when you’re feeling low. Talking hurt my nose a tiny bit, but it did not seem to hurt my brain. So it was likely no re-concussion.
Then I calmly rested my eyes for the remainder of the weekend. I binge-listened to podcasts and talked to a bunch of people. And now, today, I’m testing things out, writing this blog post. . . . I’ve been writing for 20 minutes and so far no eye pain. And the nose pain is gone. So NO BIG DEAL!
And even if I had re-concussed my brain? It would still have to be NO BIG DEAL because anxiety and worry never, ever helps. It’s just life, as a wise person said to me this weekend. That’s how life works. There are ups and downs. So I’ve been struggling to figure out my concussion symptoms for the past four weeks. And so I lost a fight with a tree. SO WHAT?
I assume that the universe will, at some point, allow me to make forward progress in my recovery. And at some point, I will be able to work full time at the computer again, and drive again, and, hell, eat in a restaurant again.
But I have been able to do a little bit over the past few weeks. And one thing I was able to do BEFORE the little tree incident was respond to all of the lovely comments you have left on this blog over the past four weeks. So sorry about the delay! I like to respond to you—your comments are always so insightful and interesting and kind and loving and wonderful. Please know that even if I don’t respond for weeks, I do read and appreciate every one.
So keep commenting. And keep healing. And keep pursuing your dreams. And know that even if you lose a fight, you haven’t lost the war. As long as you don’t give up! (Okay, was that fight-war sentence too cliché for you? I guess the original cliché is battle-war. But whatever. I’ve had a rough few days. So I used a cliché. So sue me. Thank you for not smoking. LOL!)
Are you continuing to work hard, and fight back, and never, ever, give up?