woman running with skyline in background

Our bodies can contain reminders of the past, sometimes big and pervasive, sometimes small and persistent. Let me tell you about a small and persistent reminder that my body carries from my concussion, sustained 3+ years ago.

A few months after my concussion, I was able to start running again. I usually run with earbuds, but at that time I found the running so difficult and scary that I did not want to mix it with music.

I noticed that there was a clicking sound in my left ear when I ran. I asked my doctor about it. He said, something is rattling around in there, due to the concussion. (Thanks, Sherlock.)

The clicking sound didn’t annoy me, and it didn’t affect my hearing, and I mostly zoned it out while running. It did not manifest during any other activity that I did. So it wasn’t a big deal.

Then I had a series of setbacks and didn’t run for a while, and when I was able to start running again, I ran with earbuds. Occasionally, I would hear a clicking in my left ear, but honestly, I thought it was my earbud cord hitting against the earbud or my jacket. So I didn’t think much of it, and most of the time the music drowned out the clicking anyway.

More recently, I ran a few times without my earbuds. The clicking in my left ear was still there! So it wasn’t my earbud cord, after all. . . . It was me, my body, and what it still carries from that fateful day, years ago.

I don’t mind having a left ear that clicks when I run. It’s part of me now. I am the clicking, and the clicking is me.

Does your body carry reminders, big or small, of past events?