Which life philosophy is better: to be cynical, or to be hopeful but skeptical? Is this something that can be objectively judged, or are these simply different preferences, one no better than the other? I definitely have a history of being cynical. As a teenager, I played trumpet. Sitting in the back of the band room with mostly boys, I loved to join in on the usual brass player pastime of making fun of the, as we called them, stupid woodwind players. It’s fun to criticize others, to feel like you’re in the “in group,” amidst the “smart people.” Is it also wise? This blog post will feature a cynical vs skeptical showdown. Is there a best way to be, and if so, what is it?

Cynical vs Skeptical: Let’s Start With Some Definitions

Defining these terms is tricky because modern usage differs from the original, ancient Greek usage. In this article, I’ll mostly adhere to the modern usage. So let’s start there. Here’s how we differentiate cynical vs skeptical in the twenty-first century:

cynical (adj) contemptuous and distrustful of other people; holding the belief that other people can’t be trusted

skeptical (adj) having doubt or suspended judgment; holding the belief that knowledge is uncertain

As you can see, the cynic has a more extreme viewpoint than the skeptic. While the skeptic admits that they don’t know, the cynic insists that they do know and it’s bad news.

Cynical vs Skeptical: The Ancient Greeks

Let’s take a brief detour to ward off any confusion about the cynical vs skeptical question. Confusion often arises because these terms are used differently in the historical sense than in ordinary modern usage.

Cynical: The Ancient Greeks

The Cynics of ancient Greece had a very different philosophy than the modern definition of “cynical” seems to indicate. The Cynics believed that happiness means living virtuously, and living virtuously means not striving for external rewards like fame, money, power, status, glory, and so on. They believed in goodness and naturalness and didn’t care about worldly possessions. The Cynics were known for giving up their homes and things and living on the streets.

The word “cynic” arose from the Greek word for dog. One reason the Cynics were called dogs was because, not caring about status, possessions, or any kind of social decorum, they wandered the city streets—some said, like dogs.

In the nineteenth century, the word “cynical” acquired a narrowed focus. It came to emphasize the Cynics’ scorn for polite society, and it lost its meanings pertaining to virtue, goodness, and naturalness.

Today, the word indicates a scorn for most people, no matter how they live. This is the meaning I will use from now on in this blog post.

Skeptical: The Ancient Greeks

In modern times, people often use the word “skeptical” to refer to skepticism about Christianity or another religion. However, people in modern times also use the word “skeptical” to refer to doubt about anything, from stock market trends to whether life exists on other planets.

The word has been applied to philosophers throughout history who have doubted various things that most people take for granted as true. For example, Socrates doubted that he knew anything at all, and he doubted that anyone else did, either. Bertrand Russell explored the idea that the sun might not rise tomorrow.

That being said, some ancient Greek philosophers are known specifically as Skeptics. They originated skeptical philosophies in the fourth century B.C.E., after the death of Aristotle.

When I use the word “skeptical” from now on in this blog post, I will mean maintaining any doubtful stance, not the specific philosophies of the ancient Greek Skeptics, and not only pertaining to religion.

Cynical vs Skeptical Showdown: The Book Hope for Cynics, by Jamil Zaki

Now that we’ve gotten the boring stuff out of the way, let’s get on with the cynical vs skeptical showdown! A cynical vs skeptical showdown takes place in a fascinating new book called Hope for Cynics, by Jamil Zaki.

Zaki is a social scientist who had a social scientist friend named Emile Bruneau, who died tragically young. Although the two men were both psychologists and brain scientists who studied human connection, Zaki always felt, he says, that his friend did a much better job of practicing what he preached.

After Bruneau’s death, Zaki made a commitment to try to be more like his friend. He wanted to start living according to the principles they and other social scientists had reached through dedicated research studies. And he wanted to write this book to spread the word about what the principles are, how his friend had benefitted himself and others by living according to the principles, and how he himself, as well as all people, can benefit as well.

Cynical vs Skeptical Showdown: Is It Better to Be Cynical or Skeptical?

I’ve buried the lede, apologies about that! So, at long last, here’s the answer to the cynical vs skeptical debate, according to scientific consensus:

In the Cynical Corner of the Ring

While being cynical can certainly be fun and popular, it is not conducive to happiness, health, or even truth. Assuming that other people are awful and untrustworthy is a pretty bleak worldview. Thinking cynically can seem like the route to truth. If it’s really true, we should accept that. Maybe making sarcastic commentary about the horribleness of other people is merely truth telling. But research shows that the cynical outlook is not true. Most people are kindhearted and trustworthy.

(What a relief to learn that piece of research science! Most people are kindhearted and trustworthy—that’s amazing news, don’t you think?)

Furthermore, when someone cynically comes to the conclusion that others are awful and untrustworthy, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. The cynic trusts people less and has fewer friends and confidants, and thus they are less happy and less healthy.

In the Skeptical Corner of the Ring

Note that the research shows that most people are kindhearted and trustworthy—not all people, all the time. So in running away from cynicism, we shouldn’t suddenly become gullible fools and trust everyone we meet.

Instead, Zaki says, we should maintain a hopeful skepticism. You don’t know whether the stranger you just met is kindhearted and trustworthy, but you know that, chances are, they are, and moreover, you’re going to hope and assume they are, unless you learn something that indicates otherwise.

Note that you can and should do all this while still avoiding unnecessary risks (e.g., continue to keep an eye on your personal belongings while traveling, etc.).

The hopeful skepticism stance is also a self-fulfilling prophesy. Have you noticed that when you are nice to people, they are most often nice back? Assuming that people are basically good results in people acting good in response. Thus, the hopeful skeptic makes more friends and is happier and healthier.

Cynical vs Skeptical Showdown: In the Band Room

Zaki explains the trap of cynicism like this:

“Cynics end up sicker, sadder, poorer, and more wrong [than hopeful skeptics]. So, if cynicism isn’t a matter of cleverness, why do people turn toward it? Under all that bluster, many cynics are just trying to stay safe in the face of suffering.”

That’s right. Being snarky is a way of making yourself superior, as a method for staying safe. But it’s bluster—it’s not real superiority. It’s just a big false story you’re telling to make yourself feel better, at someone else’s expense.

That’s what I was doing while sitting in the back of the band room with my trumpet on my lap. Like most teenagers, I was suffering from feeling unpopular and unliked. Putting myself in a brass player in-group and making fun of our manufactured woodwind player out-group was a way of bolstering my self-esteem by putting down other people. We weren’t proclaiming some grand truth about the intelligence of different types of young musicians—give me a break! We were being cynical to mask our insecurities.

Examples of Hopeful Skepticism (Examples of a Positive Attitude)

The attitude of a hopeful skeptic is unabashedly positive and open. For this reason, it can feel scary to be a hopeful skeptic when you’re not used to it. I know I have a habit of slipping back into my childhood and young adulthood cynicism. Somehow it takes a certain effort to have the confidence to be a hopeful skeptic.

I’d like to conclude this blog post by offering a few examples of a positive attitude that reflects hopeful skepticism. I hope these examples will clarify the cynical vs skeptical difference.

Examples of a Positive Attitude #1: Words That Describe Children in the Field of Education

Zaki makes an excellent point about common words and phrases that are cynical vs skeptical. This example involves how educators and people in the field of education sometimes describe children, especially, he notes, “Black and brown children attending poor schools”:

“Media and charities often describe these kids as ‘at-risk youth’ in the thrall of a ‘school-to-prison pipeline.’ Educational inequity harms millions of people, but deficit-framing defines children only by the way they are impacted. . . . Most ‘at-risk youth’ are students, and most students want to graduate. [Author and social entrepreneur Trabian] Shorters suggests changing the language we use to reflect this; for instance, by saying: ‘Students who want to graduate face these obstacles when their schools lack resources.’ Under this framing, children’s goals rise to the surface.”

As a former public school teacher, I believe this is a profoundly important paradigm shift that the field of education would do well to embrace, to best help kids succeed at school.

Again, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Would you rather provide resources through tax dollars for “at-risk youth” or for “students who want to graduate who face obstacles”? The first phrase is negative and cynical, while the second phrase is positive and hopefully skeptical. Both phrases acknowledge that there’s uncertainty about what will happen in the children’s future, but only one emphasizes the basic truth that most of the children are, like most people in general, kindhearted and trustworthy.

Examples of a Positive Attitude #2: Individual Teachers, Bosses, and Others

The first example demonstrated a self-fulfilling prophecy on a societal scale. It’s important to emphasize that the self-fulfilling prophecy also works on an individual scale. Zaki writes:

“The stories we tell ourselves about people change how we treat them, which, in turn, can alter the course of their lives. Teachers who think a student is bright will invest more time in that student, who is then likely to thrive. Bosses who take someone under their wing boost that person’s chance of success. Friends, colleagues, and neighbors become the people we pretend they are.”

Examples of a Positive Attitude #3: Words That Describe People in the Field of Psychology

This example was not in Hope for Cynics. This is just my personal opinion, which the book reminded me of. I have suffered from various mental health struggles throughout my life. But whenever I sought care, the language of the field of psychology made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I apparently suffer from “generalized anxiety disorder” and various other clinically named ailments.

I am not blaming the specific practitioners I saw, who did their best to deemphasize the clinical terms. In many cases, they would not have used the terms at all, if they weren’t required to for insurance purposes. But the negativity of psychological terms is everywhere in our society, in our speech and media and entertainment. This creates a stigma, and when I ended up visiting mental health professionals, the existence of the terms created in me an unwanted identity of disease.

I don’t know how exactly to solve this problem, but I think the alternative medicine community does a better job of using terminology that makes the seeker of care feel welcome and somehow already whole from the get-go, as opposed to a toxic societal problem.

Maybe instead of thinking of myself as having a disease called “generalized anxiety disorder,” I should think of myself as having a greater than average need to focus on daily calming self-care activities (not to mention a greater than average need for prescription drugs to help me along in my wonderful life journey). Admittedly, that was corny. But corny and positive, Zaki seems to be saying, is better than hip and negative.

Cynical vs Skeptical Takeaways

Hope for Cynics concludes with political observations about entire nations and national leaders and their rhetoric. To be honest, I’m tired of ending every article I write with a warning about the current U.S. president. So I won’t go there today. You can read the book if you want to draw conclusions about that.

If you take nothing else away from this article, I hope you will take away the fact that most people—and this includes even groups of people you detest—are kindhearted and trustworthy. Remembering this can improve all of our lives and relationships.

Are you kindhearted and trustworthy?

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