the inquisitive one

The inquisitive one licked the lips in anticipation.

Someone on the dating app had messaged the inquisitive one saying they would be glad to take the i.o. out of the country! What a grand first date—to travel to another country! Considering that the inquisitive one was wanted by the FBI, and had been hiding out in Liza’s closet for months, it was to be a grand first date, indeed.

Suddenly, as the inquisitive one was licking the lips, and actually drooling a bit into one of Liza’s shoes, the i.o. heard the sound of sawing. Someone was sawing a hole into the side of the closet wall! Luckily, it was happening on the opposite side to where the inquisitive one was sitting.

“Hey! Nice to meet you!” cried the inquisitive one, when there was a break in sawing.

The inquisitive one heard a grunt, and then more sawing.

“Are you sure Liza’s okay with this?” cried the inquisitive one, when there was another break in sawing. “I mean, not everyone likes holes cut through the exterior of their hous—”

“Don’t worry, she’s not home,” someone muttered back, and then there was more sawing.

Then the sawing stopped and a beacon of moonlight appeared.

“The moon!” said the inquisitive one happily . . . and then worriedly went on, “I really don’t think Liza—”

“Put this on. Hurry!” said the person on the outside, and the inquisitive one felt a piece of cloth fall into the lap.

“What is it?”

“A mask. COVID. But cover your eyes, too. Cover your eyes the most.”

“The eyes? The CDC never said anything about—”

“Do you want to get to Canada or not?! Cover the eyes completely! Forget about the nose and mouth, you can leave those free.”

The voice sounded irritated, and the inquisitive one wanted badly to escape from the country, so the i.o. did as told. The person on the outside then guided the blinded inquisitive one out of the hole, down a ladder, and into a vehicle.

They drove for a very long time.

Every once in a while, the inquisitive one said, “Can I take this mask off my eyes, please?”

And every time, the person exclaimed, “NO! We’re driving to Canada, and you can’t be recognized! Plus, COVID!”

And every time, the i.o. did as told.

After a very long time, the vehicle stopped, and the person said, “We’re here. You can take off your mask.”

The inquisitive one ripped it off and blinked into strong daylight.

“This is my house!” the i.o. cried. “This isn’t Can—”

“We’re in Canada. I thought you’d feel more comfortable if I transported your house and belongings here.”

“You moved my house to Canada?” said the inquisitive one, incredulous.

“You can’t go back to the past. Now, I have a lot of driving to do yet today. Goodb—”

“Can’t I at least have a kiss?” cried the inquisitive one, since the person looked cute.

“This isn’t a date. I’ll bill you later.”

The person drove away. The inquisitive one walked to the front door and tried the handle.

The door was unlocked.