Mystery Like a Great Sea (LBC)

It’s Liza’s Book Club day! Did you read All Fours by Miranda July along with me? Like all of July’s books, this one did not disappoint.

Or I should say—it did not disappoint once I got going. I found the first few chapters puzzling. I was expecting weirdness and comedy, because that’s July’s usual schtick. But this protagonist was weirder than usual. If that’s even possible. And she was weird in an uncomfortable way, as in, uncomfortable for both me and her. But her weirdness and personal discomfort grew on me, and the book got weirder and funnier as it went along.

This is a novel about being a woman in middle age. I am growing up with Miranda July; we are close to the same age. So I could particularly relate. At the same time, I strongly believe that it’s important to read about people who are unlike you. Even if you’re not a middle-aged woman, there’s still lots in this book that anyone can relate to. For example, everyone who lives long enough to experience middle age gets to have feelings like those the protagonist has in this passage that defines one of the main themes of this book:

“Because in truth it was like a bad dream, a nightmare. Life didn’t just get better and better. You could actually miss out on something and that was that.”

That’s right. When you’re young, life seems infinite and endless. But at some point, you start feeling that it’s really not. It will end, for all of us. Which prompts lots of people to make big changes in middle age.

Middle age gets a bad rap because of this. Because change scares people. And change opens up lives to risk—will the change work out for the best? Or the worst?

This week on Patreon for all paid subscribers: the shocking truth my friend and I realized about All Fours by Miranda July. I’m not writing about it here on the blog because it’s only for Patrons. Join Patreon by Tuesday to get the article in your inbox on Wednesday!

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But this book is also about perimenopause, the physical changes women undergo in middle age as they approach menopause. The protagonist of this book freaks out when she realizes she’s in a phase of life she had never even heard of and knows nothing about. Why doesn’t she know about it? Because, maybe, no one traditionally wrote books about this topic. Until now! July is such a hero for speaking out about such an uncomfortable topic, in such an uncomfortable way. She doesn’t pretend that it’s comfortable. Why pretend?

But also: why be uncomfortable? Women have bodies; get over it. Women also have minds; and I have to share with you a wonderful tongue-in-cheek passage. The protagonist is talking about her own actions here, actions which some might call “crazy” or even “unhinged” (in fact, a few lines down she calls herself “a nitwit” and “a madwoman”):

“Why do such a thing? What kind of monster makes a big show of [REDACTED TO AVOID SPOILERS] and then [REDACTED TO AVOID SPOILERS]? . . . But this was no good, this line of thought. This was the thinking that had kept every woman from her greatness. There did not have to be an answer to the question why; everything important started out mysterious and this mystery was like a great sea you had to be brave enough to cross.”

I love this so much. You can just imagine the logical husband’s mind blowing up if he ever hears about the illogical thing his wife just did.

This reminds me of buying my first home. My husband and I were driving between states, while on the phone with our real estate agent. We were negotiating our offer. I had a sick feeling, and then I saw a raccoon at the side of the road. I just knew we shouldn’t go through with it, and that this had something to do with the raccoon. But I could not express this to my husband in a way that made logical sense. I’m not sure I even tried. And it turned out to be a terrible investment.

So yeah, keep your greatness. Don’t be afraid. Act on that crazy impulse. You only live once. But also: laugh at your illogicalities, and, please, go ahead and do bizarre things; just don’t do anything really stupid.

What great sea are you brave enough to cross?

This is a Liza’s Book Club post, so leave a comment if you read the book along with me! What did you think of it? Spoilers allowed in the comments! 🙂 To find out what the next LBC pick is, and when to read it by, scroll down in your email. (You have to be a Liza’s Newsletter subscriber to access this info: subscribe here for free!)