TV over IKEA bench

I feel like a total warrior. I have increased my TV watching time from almost 30 minutes (as described in this post from last December) to over an hour and 40 minutes. Who ever thought that TV watching could be such a demanding sport?

I subscribed to Apple TV+ (this blog post is not endorsed by Apple or anyone else), and I have so far watched Bad Sisters, Severance, and two seasons of Slow Horses, and I have just begun Ted Lasso. Maybe that seems like no big deal to you; but to me, who had not been physically able to watch any TV for three years, it is a monumental achievement.

I feel like celebrating! But at the same time, I know that I’m only one setback away from losing my newfound ability and having to build back up. I’m also only one week away from losing ground, if I don’t keep practicing this ability.

I’m on a nightmare treadmill whereby I constantly have to keep practicing basic life skills, in order to keep them.

This is no way to live.

But I have no choice. It is the life that I have been given. I don’t know what to do other than press on ahead.

There is one glimmer of hope: I found a new psychiatrist who prescribed me a new medication that, he says, may break this terrible spell that has been cast upon me. He also has a plan B, if plan A does not work. Plan A is a medication that takes some weeks to kick in, so the results are still hanging in the balance.

Please, all of the gods and higher powers and spirits, let something work for me. I feel overwhelmed all of the time.

But still writing.

Still writing.